My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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