weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
