It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
