i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
