Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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