You can't special order awesome
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
