There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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