Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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