This girl is more easily done than said...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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