don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
