Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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