Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
