This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
sarcasm needs its own font
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
