so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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