Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
