4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
