Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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