im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
