Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize