I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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