..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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