they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
