too bad you live with your parents still
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
