I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
