You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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