He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
