the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
