Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
