I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
