Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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