Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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