I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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