thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
