That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
