okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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