found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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