There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
