i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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