Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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