That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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