I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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