You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
