So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
