the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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