it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
