I cockslap morals
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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