they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
