Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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