Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
