Can Purell be used as lube?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
