The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
