Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
