You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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