dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
